“Grieving What You Left Behind: The Hidden Emotion of Career Transitions”

I will always remember the conclusion of a conversation with a respected friend who is also a successful executive coach. I had enthusiastically shared my aspiration to become a life and leadership coach following the elimination of my position due to a cost-reduction restructuring. I also mentioned that the severance package was generous, the process was conducted professionally and respectfully, and that I was ready for a change. She offered significant encouragement, providing valuable tips and suggestions, before asking, “Have you made time to grieve?”

One of the most overlooked experiences in career and life change is grief.

We expect anxiety.

We anticipate uncertainty.

We may even prepare for impostor syndrome.

But grief? That catches people by surprise.

During transitions like retirement, job loss, relocation, or personal reinvention, people expect to feel excitement — and they often do. But under the surface, a quieter emotion may be present: grief for what they’re leaving behind.

Not just the title or paycheck.

But the identity. The community. The sense of control. The rhythm of life as they knew it.

And because this grief isn’t socially recognized — there’s no funeral for a former job or applause when you let go of a version of yourself — it often goes unspoken. That doesn’t mean it’s not real.

Why Unacknowledged Grief Matters

When grief isn’t processed, it shows up in other ways: fatigue, confusion, emotional numbness, self-doubt. People sometimes think or say, “I thought I’d feel free, but I just feel lost.”

The reality is, they’re mourning a meaningful chapter — even if they chose to close it.

As William Bridges explains in Transitions, every change starts with an ending. But most of us rush to the new beginning, bypassing the discomfort of the “neutral zone” in between.

“In that in-between, we carry the weight of what we haven’t yet grieved.”

What Can We Do?

Whether you're coaching someone through change — or going through it yourself — here are a few ways to navigate this hidden grief:

• Normalize It: Name the grief. Expect it. Allow it. Make space for it in your process.

• Honor the Past Role or Identity: Take time to reflect: What did it give you? What did you give it? What are you leaving behind with gratitude?

• Create Meaningful Endings: Acknowledge transitions with intentional rituals — a closing conversation, a written reflection, a symbolic gesture of release.

• Don’t rush to “fix it.”: Create safe spaces for processing, reflection, and integration.

Closing Thought:

Grief in transition is not a detour — it’s part of the path. It’s what allows you to fully release the past so you can meet the future with open hands.

So, the next time you or someone you know is moving through change, ask:

What might you be grieving, even if no one else can see it?